a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
