so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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