she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
