It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
