You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
