i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
her facebook's as public as her vagina
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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