Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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