I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
