just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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