do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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