But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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