I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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