It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
