And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
