found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
