Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
