so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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