Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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