I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I accidentally had phone sex last night
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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