I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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