I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
