So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
