That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
