Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
