Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
