At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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