i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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