He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
