how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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