My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
