Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
