So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
