A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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