Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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