The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
