And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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