so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
