And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
