My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Randomize
