No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
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