when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
What did we do last night that was yellow?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
