Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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