She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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