Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
