I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
