Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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