I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
