Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
