i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Randomize
