im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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