I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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