i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
