4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
